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I’m suppose to quit smoking in 3 days. I promised my girlfriend. I’m leaving to go visit my brother (whom I don’t talk to and don’t get along with) in 8 days…. I don’t want to let her down but I don’t think I can handle the stress. I feel that I can’t quit until I forgive. It’s taking every muscle every thought to help me do this and I’m not exactly sure what else I can do. I’m so afraid of dissappointing her, I love her so much. I feel as if that’s the only thing I’m good at, being disappointing and all. And hateful, can’t forget that one. I feel like all I’ve been doing lately is screwing up and I don’t know what else to do. I’m trying to not let it take hold of m, that’s all I’ve been doing for years now and according to other people I guess it is… I guess all I can say is oh well..
